The One
by Shadow-Sea
Summary: Lily and Em are fine. That is, until Lily stops eating. As her strength starts to ebb away, there seems to be no hope left. Can she even be saved?
1. The Social Ladder of Hogwarts

A/N: This is my first story. So sorry if it\'s boring. In my opinion, I think it kinda is, but I know it will get better. I would loooove if you guys left a review, considering this is my first \"publication\". Thank you before hand!  
  
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Chapter 1: The Social Ladder of Hogwarts  
  
"Lily! Lily, for heavens sakes, wake up!"  
  
"No.hmm.want to sleep."  
  
"Too bad!" and Lily was smacked in the face.  
  
"Ok, ok, I'll get up!" Lily said, hastily. She opened her eyes, and saw Emilie, standing over her, looking quite annoyed. For good reasons.  
  
"I've been trying to wake you up for at least 10 minutes, Lily!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Lily said, and hurriedly got out of bed.  
  
Lily was at Emilies house. Emilie (nickname Em) was Lily's best friend, and had been since their first year at Hogwarts, where they had collided with each other on the slippery surface of the Entrance Hall. They were now well on their way to their 3rd year at Hogwarts. The day was, in fact, the 1st of September, the day of their return to Hogwarts. Lily was a bit moody; she had loved staying at Ems house, and was reluctant to leave.  
  
Lily was smacked again.  
  
"Lily, you're daydreaming! Wake up!" Em practically shouted in her ear. "We only have half an hour to get ready!" Lily opened her eyes and looked at Em. The first impression of her might have been that she was quite violent, the way she went on smacking everyone, but Lily knew Em would never hurt anyone deliberately. She only meant the smacks for a joke, and Lily always took them as one. Em was actually quite pretty. She had green eyes (though not as green as Lily's) with long, black eyelashes, and short, curly, orangy hair. Her features were pleasant, and her smile was beautiful. Lily herself had long, ginger hair, and very green eyes. The both of them had been told many times that they so resembled each other. Bot their bodies were already quite curvy, but unfortunately, no one had taken any notice of these two girls beauty. They belonged to the Middle Class in the social pyramid of Hogwarts, and they liked it that way.  
  
Lily ducked, as a hand aimed for her face yet again.  
  
"Ok, yes, I get it! I'll get ready," she said, hastily. Lily walked towards Ems bathroom, Em staring crossly at her back. Lily stripped and got into the shower, letting the warm water wash her. She immediately felt better. She was going back to Hogwarts! No matter how much she had enjoyed the summer vacation at Ems house, she had missed Hogwarts.  
  
"Well, thank God! I was beginning to think you would be in there for a millennium or something!" Em said as Lily emerged from the bathroom. Lily cracked a smile.  
  
"Come one, let's get something to eat!" she said. They went downstairs, where they were met by the wonderful smell of pancakes.  
  
"Thought I'd make you last morning here special, girls!" Mrs. Jensen, Ems mom, said. Both girls smiled, and flopped down into the kitchen chairs, ready to shovel as many pancakes as possible in their mouths.  
  
When they were done, they rushed upstairs to brush their teeth and pack the last minute things. Everyone was quite strained, given that Em couldn't find her retainers. When they finally found them (they had been in their case all along), it was 10 minutes to 11.  
  
"Oh dear, I don't think we'll make it by car." said Mrs. Jensen. "But we had our fireplace connected to the floo network last summer, and I\'ve been dying to try it. This seems like a good occasion!" She rushed to the hearth, and opened the lid to a small can.  
  
"Here you go, dearie," she said to Lily, handing her the can. Lily took it, threw the powder into the fire, and pronounced  
  
"Platform 9 and ¾!" and off she went. She was going so fast, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to stop, but then.BAM! Her legs hit the ground, and crumpled under her.  
  
"Uuh, auw." she moaned.  
  
"Yes, auw!" She heard someone say. She looked down. She had fallen on top of none other than James Potter, the most popular boy in school. She didn't care about that, though. Popularity was not all it was cracked up to be. She looked down at the girls who worshipped the ground he walked on. After all he was just a normal person, like anyone else. Why did he deserve this special attention? But still, this was kind of embarrassing.  
  
"Oh my Gosh, I'm so sorry! You see, I'm not very used to Floo Powder and that, and I didn't exactly know what to do, and-\" Lily rambled. James sighed.  
  
"Yes, ok, whatever! Just get off me!"  
  
"Oh, yes, sorry" Lily hastily said, and she scrambled off him, brushing off her cloak. She looked around for her suitcase, found it squishing some else's toad, and then tried to see where James had gone. He could at least have asked if she was all right. But he had vanished.  
  
\"That just proves what a spoiled brath he is,\" though to herself in disgust. \"A very handsome spoiled brat.\" but she immediately stopped that thought. Just because James had black hair sticking up in every direction in a cute way, and grey eyes, and a muscular body, didn't mean he was that great.  
  
"Hey, get going! We don't wanna miss the train!" Emilie said. She had just appeared from the fireplace, and soon, her mother had too. Lily rushed up to the train, and lugged her baggage on to it. Then she clambered on. She waited for Emilie's mom to finish hugging and kissing Emilie, and then they both searched out an empty compartment. As always, the last ones were the only ones free. They slumped into their seats. Suddenly a head with messy, black hair stuck through the door.  
  
"Oh sorry, I thought it was empty," said James. Em shrugged.  
  
"That's ok. I think the very last one is free, if you wanna try that."  
  
"Ok, thanks," and the head withdrew again  
  
After a few moments, Lily and Em started talking about random things People and teachers at school and such, when the black, messy hair appeared at the door again. This time though, the whole body of James stepped into the compartment.  
  
"Sorry, but no other compartments are free, may we sit in here?" He looked like he didn't exactly enjoy the thought, but he would definitely rather sit with these girls than sit on the floor.  
  
"Oh, sure, no problem." Em said. James opened the door completely, and his loyal followers, Sirius, Remus and Peter shuffled inside. They decided to ignore their fellow travel mates, seeing they were lower on the ladder of sociality, and started talking amongst themselves.  
  
\"Have you seen that new broom, Siri? It's the best yet!" James said.  
  
"Stop calling me Siri, James!" Sirius sighed in annoyance. \"And yes, I have seen it!\"  
  
Lily turned to Em, and they, too, started talking. After some hours, the topic landed on Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, the most disgusting and terrible brats and bullies in the school. Both were in Slytherin.  
  
"That fucking Malfoy keeps calling me a Mudblood!" Lily exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, same. And Snape always has to fling anything disgusting at me," Em added. "And aren't we lucky, we have potions with them: the subject containing the most disgusting things!" Lily chuckled.  
  
James had been listening to their conversation, and had agreed with everything they said about Malfoy and Snape. He couldn't help himself.  
  
"Yeah, Malfoy and Snape are such gits. I can't wait to learn human transformations so I can use it against them!" He said, eyes flaming maliciously. Everyone turned their heads towards him. There was a silence. A two-completely-different-social-groups-silence that always occurs when the binding rules of the Social Ladder are broken. And then it cleared up. Sirius joined in with his comments, then Remus, and finally Lily and Em. Peter stayed out of the way. He was very quiet. The Marauders (Lily had heard James' groups being called that many times) seemed to have quite a lot of experiences with Malfoy and Snape. The conversation drifted to other topics after awhile, and suddenly, the train slowed down, right until a screeching was heard. Then it stopped.  
  
\"Oh great,\" Lily thought. \"James isn't so bad, and neither are any of his friends, but they so won't talk to us in public. Them and their reputation.\" Meanwhilee James was thinking along the same lines.  
  
\"Nice people. Oh well, its probably safer not to talk to them in public. Don't wanna ruin my reputation.\"  
  
Lily and Em pushed open the door and got out of the train. They were in the middle of a loud, rowdy crowd. When they finally got to the carriages, they had been bumped into at least 15 times.  
  
"Whew!" Em said, as they settled in the soft seats. "Glad that's over!" The carriage started moving, and soon it stopped at the big oak doors.  
  
"Home." Lily sighed and smiled. She was so happy. She ran to the door, Em right behind her, and pushed it open. Warmth and chatter met her. She glided inside, and followed the crowd to the Great Hall. As usual, she and Em sat at in the middle of the table, on the right side. This had become a habit. It made them feel comfortable. They started chatting as the school settled down. And in marched the shivering and scared first years. Lily felt sorry for them. She remembered how it was being one of them. McGonnagall took a small, shabby stool out of a dark corner, and placed the famous (and in some cases infamous) Sorting Hat on it. A crease in its side opened, and it started to sing.  
  
"So here you all sit  
  
Your stomachs empty as pits  
  
Waiting for me  
  
To see into the brains of thee  
  
In Rawenclaw you may happy be  
  
If you are smart and witty, I will see  
  
That here you belong  
  
As true as my song  
  
Here dwell the clever and nice  
  
With you, we might add a little spice  
  
In Hufflepuff you may find your place  
  
Being nice and loyal is your case  
  
You want to help and do your best  
  
Then go here, and you will pass the test  
  
But if this does not suit you well  
  
In Slytherin you may dwell  
  
If you are one with ambitions  
  
You might have your small suspicions  
  
That this is where you will go  
  
To achieve your goals.  
  
And last but not least Gryffindor  
  
Here bravery will wear you soar  
  
And hard work is appreciated  
  
And it will definitely be compensated  
  
All the houses I have listed  
  
Now it is your turn to be tested.  
  
The Sorting hat then closed its crease, and stayed quiet. Professor McGonagall unrolled a piece of parchment, and started to read out students names. Lily listened intently, especially when Gromek, Marie was sorted into Gryffindor. Her house. She loved her house so much. It was her home, her only home. In the muggle world lived her sister, Petunia. She couldn't stand Lily. They hadn't been the best of friends, but when Lily had received her Hogwarts Acceptance letter, Petunia had started to despise her. She still loved her parents, of course, but Petunia made Lilys life living hell.  
  
"You may begin." Dumbledores voice sounded over Lilys daydreams. She looked down, and found the many golden plates had been filled with chicken legs, sauces of all kinds, potatoes, spareribs, and a variety of vegetables. She hungrily filled up her plate, and ate. When Dumbledore seemed to be finished with his meal, which took a great deal longer than others, he snapped his fingers. And on the now clean, golden plates appeared desserts. Pudding, ice cream, fudge, carrot cake, cupcakes, and one particularly big bowl of sherbet lemon. Even though Lily definitely was far from starving, she couldn't help herself. She took all the desserts that could fit on her plate, and ate them up.  
  
"My, my! What an appetite!" Em exclaimed from Lilys side. Lily laughed and looked over at Ems plate  
  
"Well, look who's talking!" she smiled. Em had filled hers up with only sherbet lemon.  
  
"You must have an especially fine taste, Miss Jensen!" someone chuckled from behind. It was Dumbledore. The two girls turned red. It wasn't everyday the headmaster paid one a private visit during dinner.  
  
"I myself ordered our house elves to makes this," he said.  
  
"Well, thank you Professor. I'm enjoying it!" Em answered, remembering to be polite. Dumbledore smiled, and moved back to the teachers' table. Lily and Em just got to look at each other before Dumbledore stepped up on the podium, and announced that dinner was over. And if they would please go to their dormitories. Lily silently answered yes, and she slipped off the bench and followed the crowd, Em right behind her. When they got to the Entrance Hall, they spotted James and Co.  
  
"Should we say good night to them?" Em asked, reading Lily's mind.  
  
"I'm not sure. Maybe we'd embarrass them. I don't think they want to talk to us.in public at least." Lily replied, eyeing James.  
  
"Yeah." Em agreed.  
  
Over on the other side of the Hall, a similar debate was going on.  
  
"Shouldn't we say good night to them, James?" Remus asked. "They were quite nice to us on the train."  
  
"No. We were nice to them. They returned it. Remember, we have a higher authority." James answered stubbornly. But with the look on Remus' face, James let go of his argument.reluctantly.  
  
"Well, yeah, ok, I guess so," James said, unsure.  
  
"Ok!" Remus said happily, and he started waving his arm in the air frantically. "Goodnight! Goodnight Lily! And Em! Goodnight!"  
  
"Get down!" James hissed. His face was red. "This is how you do it! Jesus Christ." He waved a tiny wave, and smiled discretely at Em. There. Done.  
  
Over on the other side of the Hall: Lily and Em stared at Remus, who was suddenly jumping up and down. He was yelling goodbye to someone.to them! They looked at each other. Everyone was staring at them. They waved slightly, over in the direction of Remus, but he had been pulled down by James, who now, trying to be discrete, was waving and smiling in small measures. Boy, were these people weird. Popular, but weird. 


	2. Bad Happenings

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Only Proffesor Diavolo, Madam Pappas, Em, and Mrs. Jensen.  
  
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The days went by nicely and quietly, with Lily and Em going to their classes, talking, and enjoying life at Hogwarts. Of course, they both had some least favorite courses that were not as enjoyable as the rest. History of Magic was one of them. And Potions. History of Magic was so boring; over half the students carried small pillows in their backpacks. Lily was one of them. Em was not. She was very fixed on keeping up her good marks and was very...intellectual, as one would call it. So was Lily, but just not that much. Potions, on the other hand, was horrible for a whole different reason. Their teacher, Proffesor Diavolo, was highly biased. In his youth, he had been sorted into Slytherin, and unfortunately, that still showed. They shared Potions with the infamous Slytherins, and Proffesor Diavolo favoured these above all others. In Slytherin, there was also two boys, who Lily and Em - and the rest of the school for that matter - would rather avoid. They were Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. Best friends. They had a very bad reputation. 1. They were in Slytherin, 2. They bullied everything and everyone, and 3. Everything pointed to, that they would support the growing \"Dark Side\", as it was called. Or at least, their fathers would. These two boys were higly against anyone muggle-born. They were therefore higly against Lily and Em.  
  
One day during one of the better Potions lessons, they were making the Color-Changing Potion. It could change the color of anything it touched to the color it itself had. The color it had, depended on what ingredients were put in. Lily and Em, who were working together, had made a red potion. And they could see, by the smoke coming from the different cauldrons, that some of the other potions were blue, purple, green, yellow, and orange. At the end of the lesson, Proffesor Diavolo tested their potions on a little mouse. The Gryffindor girls were agains this, as according to them, this behaviour was catagorized under animal abuse. So under many protests, the mouse turned red, orange, yellow, blue, and green. Then the turn came to Malfoy and Snapes potion. It was black. As Proffesor Diavolo turned to bring it to his desk, Malfoy stuck out his foot. The Proffesor tripped, and the cauldron flew high up into the air and tipped all it\'s contents out on...Lily. The class went silent. Lily felt the hot liquid cascade down her neck and through her pores into her skin. She had turned black. Completely black.  
  
\"Oh look!\" Malfoy announced to the silent class. \"Lily\'s not only fat, she\'s a freaking nigger, too!\" Only the Slytherins thought this was funny. Proffesor Diavolo calmed them down, then said to Lily  
  
\"Well...I dont think it\'s an emergency, Miss Evans. You just attend your other classes like you normally would today. It\'s a waste of valuable learning time going to the Hospital Wing.\" He smirked. Lily felt burning tears begging to crawl out, and she dashed out the classroom. Em took one. Really. Dirty. Look at Proffesor Diavolo, and rushed after Lily. She found her fleeing to the Hospital Wing. When Em finally got to her side, Lily burst out in more tears.  
  
\"He...he said I\'m fat!\"  
  
\"Lily!\" Em shrieked. \"You. Are. Not. Fat! No matter what the motherfucker says to you!\" Lily did not have the self-confidence to handle other peoples negative opinion about her, and this was not good.  
  
\"You should be more worried about that color you\'ve taken on!\" But Lily wasn\'t listening. She ran up the 5 flights of stairs to the Hospital Wing, and slammed through the door. Madam Pomfrey, who had been reading quietly about Witch Hygiene, swirled around.  
  
\"Oh Lily dear, what happened?\" She cried out. She really liked Lily.  
  
\"Color-Changing Potion.\" Lily sobbed. She left out the How and Who part. She didn\'t want to think about what Malfoy would do to her if she tattled.  
  
\"Ok Lily dear, just lie down. I\'ll fix you up in no time,\" Madam Pomfrey said, as she grapped the Normalizer.  
  
\"He...he said I\'m fat.\" Lily whimpered.  
  
\"He WHAT?\" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, as she looked down at Lily\'s already thin body. She didn\'t want to ask who Lily was talking about, as she realized Lily wasn\'t going to tell her. \"Don\'t you listen to him, I tell you! Don\'t you listen! He obviously doesn\'t know what he\'s talking about!\" Madam Pomfrey comforted Lily. She was was kind of like Lilys\' guidiance counselor. Seeing that Hogwarts didn\'t have a proffesional one of those.  
  
When Lily was fixed up, she went back to the Gryffindor common room. She wasn\'t planning on going to any of her other classes. Or lunch for that matter. Maybe dinner. But Em found her.  
  
\"Get your ass moving, young lady, or you, of all people, might get a B in Charms!\"  
  
Lily sighed, and obediantly got up. Together with Em, she went to her classes. Unfortunately, the passed Malfoy and Snape on their way to Care of Magical Creatures.  
  
\"See the color\'s gone. See the fat isn\'t!\" Malfoy whispered, so only Lily could hear. Lily was determined not to let her tears escape. When lunch came around, Lily told Em she just had to go to the bathroom. When Lily didn\'t show up for the whole lunch period, Em got worried. She ran up to the common room, and found Lily in there...again. She was reading a book.  
  
\"Lily!\" Em exclaimed. \"Where were you?\"  
  
\"Oh, I, uuuh, wasn\'t really hungry.\" Lily stuttered. Em looked sceptic, but decided to let it slip.  
  
When the same thing occured at dinner time, Em knew something was up. Something bad. Something really bad. 


	3. It Gets Worse

Chapter 3: It Gets Worse  
  
\"Lily. seriously, you have to eat something!\" Em said, stressing the word have. \"You aren\'t fat! Already last year Madam Pappas declared you were underweight for your age!\"  
  
\"That was last year.\" Lily whispered, hoping that was good enough proof. It wasn\'t.  
  
\"Lily Catherine Evans. That does NOT convince me! God dammit, EAT SOMETHING!\" Em was getting really nervous, and her way of letting it out was by getting angry. Lily knew this, and was actually quite touched. But she still wasn\'t going to eat. She had realized Malfoy was right hours ago. She could grab about half an inch of fat on her thighs. That was too much. Her stomach also touched the elastic line of her underwear. It wasn\'t supposed to do that. The underwear were supposed to hang loose. She wasn\'t going to eat. She was going to get thinner.  
  
Even though Em tried, she couldn\'t get Lily to eat. A week passed without anyone really noticing. Em didn\'t know how, but Lily always seemed to be able to escape from sight when eating hours came around. She tried desperately to find her, but ended up nearly missing her lunch hour instead.  
  
Lily started to look into the mirrors she passed in corridors. She would stop, turn so that she was facing sideways, and look. There always seemed to be something wrong. Either her thighs were too big, or her stomach was too huge. Lily thought eating nothing was the perfect plan. She would get thinner; she would look better. She didn\'t understand why Em was so upset. It wasn\'t her business what Lily did and didn\'t do.  
  
Finally, after two weeks of not showing up, someone noticed Lily\'s nearly permanent absence from the Great Hall. This someone was Remus.  
  
\"Em?\" He asked Emilie, worriedly. They had become good friends since the Hogwarts Express, considering he was the only one of the Marauders not being embarrassed being seen with her.  
  
\"Yeah?\"  
  
\"Are, uhm...are you and Lily in a fight or something?\" He asked carefully, looking a bit uncomfortable.  
  
\"No, not really. Why?\" Em asked  
  
\"Oh. Well, it\'s just...Lily hasn\'t been sitting with you the past two weeks,\" he answered. He looked worried. Em was taken by surprised, and then consideration. Should she say what was really wrong? Or lie? She was unsure. She had known Remus for about a month now. She trusted him completely. But still, this was Lily's business. She couldn't tell anyone. She never thought about herself for one moment. It might have been easier for her if she had someone to share the burden with. But this did not enter her thoughts.  
  
\"Remus, everything is ok. Lily has just been missing a whole lot of dinners and lunches. She's been feeling nauseas. I think it's because of a Multi-Flavoured bean she ate a while ago. The effect must not have worn off."  
  
"Oh, ok," Remus said, obviously relieved. He didn't exactly feel like sorting out girl problems, even though they were his friends. And his monthly torture was coming up in two days. Only James, Sirius and Peter knew about it. Thank God. He didn't want the others to know what he was.  
  
As Remus sat back down next to Sirius, Em sighed.  
  
"Close one," she thought. But she was happy someone had finally noticed something. She finished up her mashed potatoes, and left for the common room, where she found Lily reading a muggle book. Lily hadn't noticed Em coming in, and Em took the opportunity to study her friend.  
  
Lily had always been thin and frail, but this was bad. Her once-tight T- Shirt hung loosely around the stomach and the chest area. Her Hogwarts skirt needed a belt to be held up. If it wasn't for her face, Lily would have been downright ugly. And her body hair growth had increased. Drastically. Her arms were covered by a thin blanket of hair, and Em knew she had to shave her legs every 2 days.  
  
"Lily, honestly, you look horrible! Take a look at yourself!" Em said. Lily looked up, finally noticing Em's presence.  
  
"I think I look fine," she defended. She had just reached her goal of having her stomach not touch the elastic line of her underwear.  
  
"Well, you don't look fine!" Em said, heating up. "You look sick. Really sick! How much do you weigh now?" Em knew Lily normally weighed around 45- 48 kg.  
  
"The same." Lily responded, quite coldly. "45 kg."  
  
"Yeah right!" Em had lost all her patience. She rushed over to Lily, pulled her from her chair, and pulled her to the bathroom.  
  
"Take off your clothes," she demanded. Lily stood still.  
  
"Take off your fucking clothes!" Em screamed. Lily flinched. Em had never been this angry with her. She reluctantly stripped down to her bra and underwear.  
  
"Kilogracious." Em pointed her wand to the floor. A muggle weight appeared. She took one more look at Lily before pushing her on the weight. The needle went up, then down, then up, and finally stopped. 36 kg.  
  
Em tried not to cry. With a quivering voice, she said "Look at yourself Lily. You're hurting yourself. Don't you see? People die from this disease. Anorexia isn't just a harmless thing, you know." It was the first time Lily had been orally diagnosed as anorexic. She disagreed. She wasn't anorexic! She was just making herself thinner by not eating. It was called determination. Control over her body. She wasn't sick! Her anger got hold of her.  
  
"Em, you just stop meddling in my business, you hear! Leave me alone!" She pushed the shocked Em aside, and ran to her dormitory. An hour later, Ems silhouette got silently into her bed. Lily wasn't asleep, and she was shocked to, two minutes later, hear sobs.  
  
Em was indeed crying. She couldn't handle the burden of this anymore. She had to get Lily to the hospital wing. She was killing herself. Lily didn't know it, but she was killing herself. Emilie cried herself to sleep that night.  
  
For the love of God: Review!!!! 


	4. Progress?

Ok, here it goes...I hope you like it. It\'s like 10:10 pm here, which is late for me (dont laugh). But I need to get up at 6 o\'clock tomorrow...thats pretty early...REVIEWS ARE WELCOME! Flames too! I just wanna noe someone actually read this! And this is also a kinda short chapter  
  
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Finally, Em persuaded Lily to join her in the Great Hall. For every meal. Lily only agreed because of Em. She hadn't known she was so important to her. That Em would cry because of something she was doing to herself. Of course, Lily didn't see it like that. She didn't think of it as "doing something to herself". She was merely making herself look thinner. Look better. She couldn't see why Em was so upset about something so simple and unimportant.  
  
But, of course, it wasn't like Lily was going to start eating. Just because she was present at meal times, didn't imply having to eat. Lily wasn't stupid, though. She knew Em would notice if she didn't eat something. She was going to put food on her plate, of course. But she would just move it around. Only touch it with her fork. It always looked like you had eaten something when you just.rearranged things a bit.Em would never notice.  
  
When Lily had finally agreed to attend meal times, Ems\' heart had leaped in joy. Was Lily going to start eating again? Probably not, but it was a start. Em was, of course, going to try to force some food down Lilys\' now untrained throat. She hoped Lily would get to understand the seriousness of her disease. Didn\'t she know 1 out of every 3 anorexics died? Em had also read a lot of books about the illness. Fiction, of course. With research behind. In each and everyone of them, the girl had pushed her food around her plate, hoping that no one would notice. She remembered one of the books specifically...what was it called again? Oh yeah,  
  
\"The Best Little Girl in the World\". (IMPORTANT!!! This book exists, and is therefore COPYRIGHTED!!!!) The girl in that book had created a whole new person inside her. A character that was better than the previous one in her body. Maybe Lily was like that. Em hoped not. That girl had been hard to get back to reality.  
  
\"Ok Lily. Time to eat!\" Em said, anticipation in her voice. She was sincerely hoping Lily would make progress. Take steps in going back to normal. She already had. Even if it was only attending meal times.  
  
Lily took deep breaths. She was going to go through this as if everything was back to normal. Well, not normal, but that she was getting better.  
  
Getting better? \"What the fuck are you talking about, Lils?\" She shouted inside herself. \"Getting better? How can you get better when there is nothing wrong with you in the first place?\" Lily was furious with herself. Why had Em influenced her to think that? It was all Ems\' fault. Suddenly remembering Em was actually in the room with Lily, she grinned nervously and pushed herself off her chair. Was it her imagination, or was it suddenly harder to get up than it usually was?  
  
\"Naah, you prat. You\'re just imagining,\" she told herself. She took Ems arm to support herself for a second, then said, happier than she intended, \"Shall we?\" Em grinned. They walked down to the Great Hall. As they entered, joy, chatter, and laughter met them. Lily felt herself smile. It had been quite some time since she had been there...she realized she really loved it...NO! What was she thinking? She hated this place! It contained...well, food! Disgusting!\"  
  
Em had noticed the sudden change in Lilys\' expression. It was very unpleasant. One moment she was about to laugh in joy; the next, she was making a grimace, as if everything in the world was absolutely repulsing.  
  
\"Lets\' sit here, dearie.\" Em said, pulling Lily down beside her. Em remembered to drawl the dearie, as they usually did to each other. It was a kind of joke. Em had started it. They either called each other honey, sweetie, or dearie. Honey was when one of them was trying to make the other see her point of view. As in \"Honey, that really doesn\'t make sense!\" Sweetie was for when one off them was a bit...uhmmm...well, off. \"Uhmm...sweetie?\" And dearie; dearie was when being sarcastic. \"Yeah, sure dearie.\" Of course, Em hadn\'t meant what she had just said sarcastically. She was just trying to bring up old habits.  
  
They both settled in, and Em piled loads of food on her plate. She wanted to show Lily how good food was. She tasted her chicken leg.  
  
\"Yum! Lily, really! Try this!\" she said, as she nearly choked on a bone, and tried not to show it.  
  
\"Uh...ok,\" Lily said uncertainly. She had planned that she would be sure of herself, to show Em that she could. That she wanted to eat. But that didn\'t really work out. All this food was making her fell queezy. Especially the smell. A roasted, fat smell from the chicken legs, a fresh, but cooked smell from the peas; a strong, thick smell from the sauce. Lily doubled up. She was afraid she would let it all out.  
  
\"Em...\" She tried to hold it all back. Em looked down, and jumped as she saw her friend nearly projectile vomiting.  
  
\"I\'m here Lils! I\'ll get you to the bathroom,\" she shouted in panic, as she pushed herself off the bench, and pulled Lily off, too.  
  
\"Come on!\" she hollered. She dragged Lily with her, as they both sprinted to the closest bathroom. Many faces turned as they passed.  
  
\"Didn\'t know it took so long to get over a Bean...\" Remus muttered to himself.  
  
\"We\'re here Lils!\" Em half shouted, half gasped. \"Don\'t worry!\" Lily ran to the closet stall, and yanked up the toilet seat. Just in time. Em ran over and pulled Lilys long hair away from her face.  
  
\"There, there. It\'s gonna be fine,\" she soothed. She was wondering what Lily was actually getting up. She definately did not have food in her stomach. Well, what was left of her stomache, anyway. Em knew that Lily was basically barfing up her spit, stomach acid, and some of her intestine lining. That was enough for Em to decide she was definitely not going back to the Great Hall that day.  
  
After 5 minutes of tears and an unpleasantly lurching stomach, Lily shakily sat up agains the toilet. Em flushed.  
  
\"You ok Lils?\" She asked, a look of the deepest concern in her eyes. Lily nodded. She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply, trying to make herself feel normal again. They both just stayed there; Em standing, and Lily leaning agianst the toilet, her head bedning backwards on the toilet seat. Suddenly, silent tears fell from Ems eyes. She bent down, and wrapped the unsuspecing Lily in a tight hug.  
  
\"Oh, Lily! I love you! I was so worried! Are you sure you\'re ok?\" Em was sniffling and sobbing as she said this. Lily started crying, too. She didn\'t know why.  
  
\"Yes, Em. I\'m fine.\" They both sat there, hugging each other for a long time, rocking back and forth. Suddenly Lily started giggling. It became laughter. Em started giggling, too. Soon, both were rolling on the floor, laughing, still with tears of sorrow trickling down their cheeks. They couldn\'t stop. They went on for another hour. They were too emotionally exhausted to bear anything more that day, and therefore, they both fell softly asleep on the hard, cold marble floor of the girls bathroom. There they slept soundly the whole night. 


	5. Too Much

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I was over at a friends house for 4 days...things like that. Oh, and I just got an iPod. You know, and MP3 Player! I just need to tell everyone about that, cuz it is the coolest thing!!! Totally! Ok, well on with the story! Oh, and I\'ll be out for a few days (exactly 3) because Im going with the Middle School Girls Volleyball team to Bulgaria. We\'re playing a tournament there. Wish us luck! We\'ll need it.  
  
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Lily woke up feeling very soar. Half her body was extremely cold and she was lying on something hard. That was probably why it hurt so much. She hadn\'t registered it -maybe in denial, no one knows- but lying down on any surface seemed to become more and more uncomfortable. As the only one, she hadn\'t realized it was because her bones were jutting out of every part of her body.  
  
She pulled herself off the floor, which she had finally placed as marble, and looked around. Em was lying a few meters away; her limbs sprawled randomly on around the place. Finally, Lily remembered what had happened last night. Not understanding, or not wanting to understand, she forced herself not to think about it...it was all so confusing. Why had she been crying? And then laughing? No, just don't think about it, her inner voice said. She used her arms to exhaustedly pull herself over to Em, and shake her awake.  
  
"Em," she whispered. "Em. Wake up. I think we might have missed Arithmancy." Em just turned over and kept sleeping.  
  
"Em.!" Lily whispered, desperately. Em's eyelids fluttered. She must have realized where she was lying, because she soon shot up like someone had bit her or something.  
  
"Oh my God, Lily, where.?" She panicked. "We missed Arithmancy? You sure? Oh my God, Professor Vector is going to be really mad Lils! We better get going!" She pulled Lily to her feet. She couldn't help notice how very skinny and frail Lily's arm seemed.  
  
They rushed out of the bathroom to a fully active corridor. They received some weird looks from some of the Gryffindors who had noticed they hadn't been up in the tower last night.  
  
"Shit." Em muttered under her breath. Arithmancy was on of her favorite subjects, but the Professor Vector usually wasn't very merciful. She led the already exhausted Lily to the Great Hall. It was empty. Ems' stomach grumbled, though not as loud as Lilys. Lily tried to hide it, but it wouldn't work. Was she really hungry? No, she decided. She wasn't. But it was obvious that Em was. She had started to run up to the Gryffindor common room, knowing that she had a snack bar somewhere on her bed table. Lily didn't follow her, for once. She went to her next class. Divination.  
  
As she walked up the stairs toward the North Tower, her mind was blank. But it was still buzzing. A very weird sensation, Lily thought. Not really pleasant, but not unpleasant either. Just extremely frustrating. As she was pondering over this, she heard someone come sprinting up the stairs behind her. It was Em.  
  
"Hey, Lils wait up!" she panted. "I brought your books. You didn't come to get them." She handed Lily her books as she caught up.  
  
"Thanks." As Lily caught the heavy books in her arms, her knees crumpled the slightest bit. Em looked at her worriedly.  
  
"Are you ok?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lily whispered weakly. Em wasn't convinced. She kept a look on Lily as they went up the rest of the stairs.  
  
They could soon smell the heavy smell of her classroom, and Lily started to feel very faint. As they crawled into the room, Lilys head started to spin. Her whole body lost all of its strength. The feeling was increased by the thick aroma that hung heavily in the air. She collapsed.  
  
Em heard a thump from behind her. She turned around.  
  
"LILY!" she screamed. "LILY! GET UP! GET UP! Please, just get up!!" She threw her books aside, and fell to her knees. Tears were welling up in her eyes, as other pupils started to crowd around them. She didn't notice. Lily was all that mattered.  
  
"Lily. Please. Wake up. Please." Her voice was nothing but a whisper, and tears were rolling down her cheeks violently. She started panicking. She grabbed Lilys' shoulders, and shook her as hard as possible. Lilys head banged against the floor. The students started realizing that this might not be very good for Lily at the moment, and pried Emilie off her.  
  
Remus, who was in the same Divination class, looked down at Lily. Strange. Why hadn't he realized it before? She was too thin. Way too thin. Anorexic. No. Lily? Anorexic? No way. Trying to deny this terrifying truth, he picked up the extremely light Lily, letting her knees rest over his left arm and her back over his right. He walked slowly over to the trapdoor in the floor, his goal this Hospital Wing. Em, who had seen Remus handle Lily, calmed down. The 5 students who had been holding her let go. They allowed her to follow Remus. She was almost in a trance, but she knew where Remus was heading.  
  
When they reached the door of the Hospital Wing, Remus knocked, as the gentleman he was. His face was tremendously calm, while Ems was confused; looking like her brain was trying to process what exactly was happening. Remus pushed open the door with his body, and walked quietly in. Em followed. Madam Pomfrey first noticed Remus, and her face was confused. Then she noticed who was in Remus' arms. She immediately became white. Was that her Lily, lying there? All frail and white?  
  
"We need help, Madam Pomfrey," Remus said, his voice still calm. "I think Lily might be dying." 


	6. Coma

Ok, sorry I havent updated for so long, but I havent had access to the internet for 4 months or something...hope you like this chapter. Personally, I think its my best yet. But tell me if you disagree by REVIEWING!!!! Hehe...I love reviews as much as I love the people writing them!!!  
  
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Lily woke up to Madam Pomfrey, pampering around her. She was tucking in the sheets, and fluffing up the pillows. Lily tried to sit up, her bony elbows supporting her upper body, but Madam Pomfrey pushed her down again.  
  
"No dearie! Please rest! You need it."  
  
Lily looked around, confused.  
  
"Why.what happened?" she finally asked. Madam Pomfrey went straight to the point, no mercy.  
  
"You fainted," she said very harshly.  
  
"Why?" Lily asked. She had no clue. Madam Pomfrey was never like this with her.  
  
Silly girl, Madam Pomfrey thought. She liked Lily so much, that she was angry with her that she would do this to herself.  
  
"Well, your body needs nutrition, and you aren't giving it that." She said, pouring pumpkin juice into a glass on Lilys' bedside table.  
  
Lily still looked confused. She knew she hadn't been eating, but so?  
  
"The disease you have, Lily dear," Madam Pomfrey explained, "is called anorexia. Many girls get it in their puberty, and-" but Lilys' facial expressions cut her off. Her eyes swam with hurt, confusion, but most of all: denial.  
  
"I don't have a disease," she whispered. "I don't have a disease. I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DISEASE!" Her face was retorted in anger, as her eyes sent out icy flames.  
  
"I don't.I don't." she trailed off, all her strength used up. She flopped down on her pillow, her eyes closing. Soon she was asleep, though Madam Pomfrey wasn't sure if she should rather classify it as unconscious.  
  
She jumped as the heavy doors were opened and slammed shut very loudly.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey! Madam Pomfrey! How is she? Is she ok?"  
  
Madam Pomfrey loudly shushed the upset Em, who had come panting in, with her Transfiguration books and her hair in a bushy mess.  
  
"She's fine, Emilie." Madam Pomfrey answered. "Trust me. She was awake a few moments ago, so please be quiet! She still needs rest! And you should be going to your class now! What will Professor McGonnagal say?" Em quieted down, but refused to leave. She slowly walked over to the side of Lilys bed. She looked down into the still pretty face, despite everything. Without Madam Pomfrey noticing, she slipped a tiny cookie that she had taken from the breakfast table inside Lilys hand. She wasn't sure if Lily would eat it at all, but wanted her to know that she cared for her. Then she turned around, said thanks to Madam Pomfrey, and left silently, head bent. Madam Pomfrey shook her head as Em closed the doors behind her. Friends.she thought. Especially in these teenage years they seem to stick together like fly paper!  
  
Em had forgotten all about the Quidditch match that day, considering her earlier stress. But it really was today. Games were usually held in the weekend, but the upcoming one was a Hogsmeade weekend. Anyway, this was game was Gryffindor against Slytherin. The Gryffindor team consisted of Jacob Carver as the Seeker (he was a very quick and flexible, so this was the perfect position for him), Sirius and a muscular boy named Christian Gromek as the two beaters, Daniel Wood as keeper, and Elizabeth Moscel, Trinity Spott, and James as chasers. Both Elizabeth and Trinity were pretty, and would have been on the Gryffindor cheerleading squad.if there had been one. Jacob Carver was known for his amazing sport genius, even in muggle sports. Daniel Wood was a Quidditch fanatic, determined to win the Cup every year. He was the captain of the team. Christian Gromek had in the second year at Hogwarts flashed a bunch of girls his 6-pack, and word spread fast. He was now the eye candy for all females. James and Sirius, everyone knew.  
  
As Em ran back to put her books away (she obviously wouldn't need them during the Quidditch match.unless she wanted to know how to transform all the Slytherin players into Blast-Ended-Skrewts, which she didn't.but only because she would get in trouble for it), all the other students filed out of the great, oak doors. When Em, out of breath, had finally caught up to the last people leaving for the pitch, she was already in team spirit. She felt guilty, however. She shouldn't be enjoying herself this much when Lily was in her present state. But she forced herself to forget Lily momentarily. A girl has got to have some fun sometimes.  
  
She took a seat in the crowded audience, and waited anxiously until the teams flew out on the pitch.  
  
"And here is the Gryffindor team, ready to kick some butt!" Nick Jones commentated, hopping on one foot, trying to get as far away from McGonnagal as possible, seeing how she was trying to pry him off the microphone because of his use of what she thought was inappropriate language.  
  
"With captain Wood, then Black, Gromek, Moscel, Spott, Potter (best Chaser Gryffindor has seen in years!), and Carver as seeker!"  
  
Em sighed. No matter what, James was always put in the spotlight, making him look glorious. It was annoying.  
  
"And the Slytherin team!" Nick Jones shouted bravely, obviously very satisfied with himself to have gotten out of McGonnagals' reach, who had clearly given up by now anyway. "The captain being Zole, then Raton and Cole as beaters! Jahn, Diavl, and Trunchen as chasers! And finally, Heyz as the seeker!  
  
The applause was tremendous as both teams zoomed around the pitch, showing off all their skill. Or, as Lily would have said if she had been there, showing how self-centered and egoistic people become when they realize they are capable of clinging onto a broom.  
  
"And the quaffle is released!"  
  
Em watched in amazement as the green and red players zigzagged through each other, passing, hitting, and catching the various balls. She shouted as Moscel passed the quaffle up the pitch to Spott, who went behind the Slytherin goals and passed to the oncoming James, who pelted the ball through the hoops. The Gryffindor crowd went wild. Only two minutes had passed, and Gryffindor was in the lead.  
  
"10-0 to Gryffindor!" yelled Nick Jones gleefully. He was a Gryffindor, too.  
  
"Excuse me, excuse me.oh, I'm sorry! You ok? Ok."  
  
Em looked around to see who would even think about getting through the crowd in the stands. It was Remus. He smiled distractedly at her, protests still trailing behind him, coming from the various flattened second and third years.  
  
"Hey!" he said, trying to sit next to her, but having to help a very aggravated fifth year with a red and gold hat up again, as he had just knocked her off her seat.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Finally, he managed to squeeze himself into a spot next to Em.  
  
"Hey there." he said, looking out onto the pitch, "What's the score? I've been doing some last-minute assignments, so I kinda missed the beginning." At that very moment, Elizabeth Moscel chucked the Quaffle past the Slytherin Keeper, and Nick Jones shouted, "YES! And it's thirty-nil to Gryffindor! Good job, Lizzy!"  
  
"Well, there you go," Em laughed, and they both scooted a bit as Sirius braked hard, five feet away from them, and knocked a Bludger towards Trunchen, who was going for the Gryffindor goals, Quaffle in his hands.  
  
"Go Sirius!" Remus shouted gleefully, and Sirius winked at them.  
  
It was turning out to be a good match for Gryffindor. After half an hour, the score was one hundred and twenty to fifty for Gryffindor, and the Slytherins called for a time-out. Em clapped at the Gryffindor team, as they zoomed around the pitch, waiting for the Slytherins to come back in.  
  
"I don't like the looks on their faces," Remus muttered, and Em followed his gaze, landing on the Slytherins. They were huddled together, and some of them kept shooting secretive glances at the Gryffindors, their smirks making them look very mischievous. But as this was the usual expression of the Slytherins, Em didn't take much notice.  
  
Finally they were ready to go. Madam Hooch blew the whistle, and the players zoomed into the air. Slytherin took possession of the Quaffle, and scored. It was now a hundred and twenty to sixty. The teams had been playing for a long time, and were starting to loose energy. Everyone kept glancing up at the Seekers, but they didn't seem to have found the Snitch yet. Suddenly, as the Slytherins soared toward the Gryffindor end, James' expression changed abruptly from concentration to surprise. Everyone looked at where James' stare was leading. The Snitch! He looked around. Both Seekers were at the opposite end of the pitch, and looking the other way. It looked like they were arguing. Probably insulting each other, though Carver was a good sport, and would only do something like that if he were very provoked. Everything seemed to have halted. Then the Slytherin team saw it, too. And James went into action. As he was not the Seeker, he couldn't catch the Snitch, but he could make his Seeker notice it. Sweeping towards Carver to tell him, he was caught by surprise. The two Slytherin Beaters, Raton and Cole, were speeding towards him, clubs raised. James was fast, but not fast enough for this unexpected happening. As he froze in the air, Raton and Coles' bats rained down on him. He was being pounded by both of them to terrified shouts of the Gryffindors and laughs by the Slytherins. Madam Hooch was blowing her whistle like crazy, but they kept pounding James. And meanwhile, Heyz, the Slytherin Seeker, had seen the Snitch, and was diving to retrieve it. Teachers were coming to the rescue now. They were streaking out onto the pitch, trying to persuade the Slytherin team to stop. Dumbledore looked furious. Then, all of a sudden, to Ems' gasp and Remus' shout, James fell off his broom. Well, of course. It seems he had already broken rather a lot of bones. He couldn't hold on any longer. But he was still 50 feet in the air! Dumbledore was quick, however, and drew out his wand, flicked it, and James seemed to slow down in mid-air. Em turned her head to try to say something to Remus, but found herself dumb struck. Abruptly, Remus dashed towards the exit, and this time, no protests came. Everyone was speechless. Em quickly followed. The whole Gryffindor team had come out of their trance of terror, and were diving to the ground. Sirius was in the front. He landed so hard in his panic that his knees buckled and he fell onto the ground before being able to rush over to James.  
  
Suddenly, Em found herself down on the pitch, following the stretcher onto which James had been laid. Sirius and Remus were walking as close to it as possible, not speaking. James was unconscious. All the teachers were wearing very grave expressions, and when they finally entered the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey didn't add to the cheeriness. When she heard what had happened, she gasped, but didn't say anything. Em guessed she really didn't know what to say. As Em didn't really feel she fit into the scenario, she moved over to Lilys' bed, still so confused that she hadn't registered what she was doing. Soon, she was lying down next to Lily (she didn't even have to scoot her over, she was so thin), and was fast asleep. When she awoke, she saw figures surrounding the bed next to her, and felt breathing on her cheek. She looked down. Lily was awake.  
  
"Lily!" she whispered. She couldn't help but smile. Neither could Lily. Because Lily had missed Em.  
  
"Do you know what happened?" Em asked under her breath. Lily nodded, not smiling anymore. And they both lay quiet and listened to the voices around them. It sounded like James would be in the hospital wing for a while. Madam Pomfrey could, of course, mend the bones in a split second, but James was unconscious, and some of the teachers were afraid he might have gotten brain damage. They compromised those two things, and said he was in a coma. Sirius was standing with Remus a bit away from everything. Neither Lily nor Em had ever seen Sirius look so.sad. Confused, angry, and sad. Remus suddenly turned his back, apparently to hide something on his face.  
  
Tears. 


	7. Lilys Secret

Sorry that it took so long to update you guys! Im really truly sorry! Im not gonna lie and say I didn't have access to the internet, because I did.I just didn't.really.*wishing you wont kill me*.uuuuhm..feel like updating. Hehe : ) Ok, Im dead. No, ok, you probably don't care that much.ok, I should STOP rambling on and on now and get started! Yes. Now we start.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The Marauders are not mine, neither is Lily of any other character you recognize!  
  
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The days that followed were some of the quietest Hogwarts had ever seen. Sirius, Remus and Peter kept to themselves, mostly sitting next to the unconscious James as much as possible. Their only happy thought was that the whole Slytherin team had gotten a week worth of detention, except for the two beaters, Raton and Cole. They had been set the task of cleaning the castle everyday from 5-8 pm for a month. Slytherin had also been stripped of 250 points. It was only because of this that the Slytherins did not walk around gloating.  
  
Em was also in the hospital wing most of the time. She did her homework there, spent her breaks there, and only left when the clock read 7 pm. Lily was sleeping less now, and she had slowly begun to eat things like soup. Though Em could not detect a change in Lily's physique, she was still satisfied. She had become good friends with Sirius and Peter and was closer than ever with Remus, as there was nothing else to do in the hospital wing than talk to each other. Time passed very slowly.  
  
Lily sometimes pretended to be asleep. Sometimes to let Em have a break from taking care of her when Madam Pomfrey wasn't, and sometimes Lily was tired of having to answer Em's endless questions about her health. The following Thursday was one of those days, where Lily was very tired of everything, so she faked sleeping. After a few minutes, she heard the scrape of Em's chair and footsteps leading away to her left.  
  
"Any improvement?" she heard Em's voice say, weirdly saddened.  
  
"No," came Remus' voice, just as sad. "What about Lily?"  
  
"She's getting better, I think! I mean, she is eating a bowl of soup everyday now!"  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius' voice, though he didn't sound as though he meant it very much.  
  
"She's extremely pretty, you know. Or she was."  
  
"I know..I'll tell her that when she wakes. Thanks Remus."  
  
The conversation went on, but Lily wasn't listening. All she was thinking was "Silly girl. Stupid girl. Getting better? I am by no means getting better. I have always been the best, anyway. But, oh, if she only knew what I do when no ones around.if she only knew." And with that, she drifted off into a real sleep.  
  
"Lily? Lily, wake up."  
  
Lily turned over  
  
"Lily, your lunch will be getting cold!"  
  
Lily covered herself with her blanket.  
  
"I'll slap you!"  
  
Lily kicked out her feet, apparently hoping she might be able to kick a certain annoying person away.  
  
SLAP!  
  
"FINE!" Lily, yelled, throwing off her covers in a very tantrum-like way. "That wasn't funny!"  
  
"You're wrong. It really was," laughed Em. The look on Lilys face was priceless.  
  
"Hmpf."  
  
"Oh, stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Here; here's your soup," and Em handed Lily her bowl of soup.  
  
"You two be quiet!" shushed Madam Pomfrey, coming out of the supply closet with a needle containing a very suspicious green liquid in her hands. She strode purposefully towards James' bed. Sirius and Remus looked absolutely petrified.  
  
"Oh, stop it you two! You're not the ones getting the injection!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed bending over James and injecting the needle into his pale arm.  
  
"Why do you have to do that? He doesn't need it," barked Sirius, ready to charge at what he now considered the enemy. Remus grabbed his sleeve just in case.  
  
"Perhaps you are blind, Mr. Black, but unlike the rest of us, you haven't seemed to noticed that your friend is dead to the world! In what I hope isn't a permanent state! I am merely trying to help him!"  
  
Sirius looked as though he didn't agree with the helping part, but sat down reluctantly. Em giggled.  
  
Even though all this drama seemed to have amused Em, Lily had gotten a bad headache. Her head began to spin and her eyes swam. Everything went black. She fainted.  
  
Em looked down.  
  
"Well, so much for lunch."  
  
"Lily dear, here's your soup"  
  
Lily cracked an eye open. Madam Pomfrey was standing beside her bed, holding a steaming bowl expectantly. Lily sat up and shook her head as though to make it hurt less. It didn't help. She weakly propped her pillow up against her bed. Madam Pomfrey handed her the soup. Lily took it with both her feeble hands and looked down into it. Vegetable soup. Again. Full of pieces of carrots, asparagus, and celery. Ha! Lily only ate the liquid. She saw to her amusement, that they had tried putting pieces of bread in it. They were obviously hoping she had changed overnight, and thought soggy bread and vegetables looked yummy. By "they", Lily guessed she meant the authorities at Hogwarts. But she was never quite sure. "They" just seemed the perfect people to blame everything on.  
  
She finished her soup (leaving the bread and vegetables at the bottom) in an hour. She was very slow at eating, as it was a newly recovered routine. She put the bowl on her bedside table, stubbornly ignoring the pile of homework next to it. Who cared about homework?  
  
After a few minutes of lying quietly, ignoring Madam Pomfreys pestering questions, Lily pretended to drop off to sleep. When she finally heard Madam Pomfrey final bids of goodnight to her and James (which was stupid, Lily thought, as James couldn't hear a thing, anyway) and her footsteps retreating into her private quarters, Lily opened her eyes. Waiting for a definite quiet from Madam Pomfreys room, Lily lay still. When the first sound of a snore was to be heard, Lily crawled out of bed, wand in her hand, and tip-toed to the bathroom door. She carefully opened and closed it, trying not to make a sound. Then she muttered the silencing charm, so no noise could be heard from the cubicle. The thought of what she was about to do still scared her, but she opened the toilet seat without hesitation. Lily closed her eyes and jabbed her finger down her throat.  
  
The sensation came quickly. An uncomfortability that Lily would rather avoid. But Lily didn't have to think about that. She bent down towards the toilet as her stomach started churning. And then it all came. Lily only managed to suppress a sob as her stomach contents roared up her throat and out her mouth. All Lily was thinking about was what Em would do if she found out.  
  
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(A/N: Kill her, probably..the future is NOT bright! Btw, SORRY ME CHAPPIES ARE SO SHORT!!!! I just write.uhm.short chapters, I guess.)Ok, well.there was the seventh chapter. I find it ok, but I should probably have used a bit more dialogue. Oh well. Oh, and Im wondering, is uncomfortability a word? Cuz the computer says it isn't. Well..if the computer is right, I'll just say I made up the noun form of uncomfortable. Like, Benji and Joel from Good Charlotte thought they had invented a guitar chord in high school, but it turned out it was one of the major chords which had been around since the guitar came to be (you know, the A, D, G kinda chord thing. I find that hilarious!!! Anyway, to my reviewers! I would never have gotten so far (uhmm.not that I am very far.like, my story is very short and all) without you! 


	8. The Awakening

Chapter 8: The Awakening  
  
"Oh my God! His eyes! Look!" "Oh my God! Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" Lily wished they would shut up. She was actually trying to sleep here! And her stomach was still hurting from last night's bathroom visit. "MADAM POMFREY! MADAM POMFREY! COME QUICK!" Lily heard scuffling footsteps and a gasp. "Mr. Potter? Mr. Potter! Can you hear me? Just nod your head." "I have a better way Madam Pomfrey!" SLAP! "Miss Jensen! What.whatever has gotten into you?! 20 points from Gryffindor!" "Well, that's unfair Madam Pomfrey! Look, it did work!" Lily decided at this point that it might be a good idea to see what was going on. She was glad she did. Em, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Madam Pomfrey were standing by James' bed, staring down gleefully. Lily tried to raise herself on her elbows, stretching her neck to get a better look. James's eyelids were fluttering. Slowly they opened. Em gasped in pure joy. Sirius flung his arms around James, nearly choking him, and Remus smiled, a discreet, happy tear falling from his eyes. Peter just stood there. "Mr. Black, please! Let go! You're killing him!" Madam Pomfrey snapped, but she was smiling, too. Sirius let go, still grinning madly. "Say something, Prongs!" he shouted merrily. "You nearly killed me." mumbled James, though the words were quite distinct. Remus chuckled and Sirius let loose his bark-like laugh. "Great to have you back, Prongs!" he said, nearly choking him again. "Now, now Mr. Black. I'm afraid you have to leave. Mr. Potter needs his rest." "WHAT?! He's had rest for the past 5 DAYS!" Sirius shouted. "He needs rest," insisted Madam Pomfrey. Sirius was about to protest, but Remus grabbed his arm and dragged him out. Peter followed. "You too, Miss Jensen." "But-" "Now!" Em hung her shoulders and slumped towards the door. She glanced at Lily, and her face lightened up, as she realized that Lily was awake. She changed direction, heading straight for Lily's bed, but Madam Pomfrey intervened. "Miss Jensen!" "Oh, fine then!" Em cried and walked out the double doors, slamming them behind her. "Teenagers."  
  
Lily looked over at James' bed. He was staring up at the ceiling, looking very confused. He felt her gaze and turned his head. Lily quickly turned away embarrassed. She pretended to start doing homework, picking a book randomly off her bedside table. James chuckled. "What?" Lily snapped. James's pale face turned confused again. What had happened to Lily between the Hogwarts Express and now? Well, he hadn't exactly talked to her during that time - and wouldn't - if she hadn't been the only one in this damn hospital wing. He needed some kind of company! Thinking this, he looked over at Lily again. He took in her features, his eyes running up and down her body. What had happened to her? She was so.thin. Too thin. Why was she in the hospital wing? "Hey, you! Evans! Why are you here? In the hospital wing, I mean." Lily stared at him -scared, then turned away. Great, James thought, just great. The only company in this rotten place doesn't want to talk to me. Why is he talking to me? Lily thought. And why did he just ask me why I'm here? It's none of his business! He should keep to himself. There was a very nasty silence the rest of the afternoon.  
  
In the lunch break Em and the Marauders forced their way into the hospital wing under countless oral and physical protests from Madam Pomfrey. (A/N: Ok, that sounds wrong, but hey.) You could tell they had had a very quick lunch. "We told Gryffindor you're awake, Prongs," said Sirius happily. "What?! So now we'll have the whole Gryffindor house storming the place?!" "Yeah, basically," said Sirius, looking like he didn't care much, as he lazily sat down on James' bed. His words seemed to have triggered a chain reaction: at least 20 people came rushing through the double doors; they all gathered around James, cheering and hugging him, and Madam Pomfrey screamed as her worst nightmare came to life. "Out! OUT!" But they all ignored her. "Glad to have you back, James!" shouted Nick Jones as he patted James on the back. "Yeah, wicked good," said Daniel Wood, looking extremely relieved. Elizabeth Moscel leaned closer to James's ear and whispered "He's been frantic! Afraid you wouldn't be awake when the next match came!" James smiled. Lily felt a pang of jealousy, which she herself thought was totally unrelated to the situation. James was allowed to smile at other girls! God damn. She needed to sleep.  
Unfortunately, large crowds do not allow time for such pastime activities. Some Gryffindors who knew Lily slightly came over to her and asked her if she was ok. She just answered with a short yes, so they went away very quickly. Em was also part of the big mob of Gryffindors, so she sat by Em's side all through the whole chaotic ordeal. "Glad to have some company?" she asked Lily. "Yeah, great company," she remarked sarcastically. "Oh, come on! James isn't that bad.well, Remus and those people are really nice." "Well, James isn't." Em sighed. She was trying so hard to make Lily feel ok, but Lily just wouldn't do help her with it! "Well, he might get nice. Just talk to him, ok?" she finally sighed, and headed over to Remus, whom she considered better company at the moment. Lily fell back on her bed and closed her eyes. Into her own world where everything was perfect. No one there to bother her, or nag her about her supposed "illness". This is how the world should be, she thought, right before she drifted into a deep sleep. And she slept so long that she didn't even wake up to eat dinner or her nightly bathroom visit. Which her stomach intestines were very grateful for. A few days later the weekend arrived, much to the relief of the students. They were all exhausted from a week of hard work. Em woke up very early on Saturday morning, the sun streaming through a crack in the window curtains. She quietly got out of bed and padded over to the window. Pulling the curtains aside carefully, she smiled as the beautiful landscape came into view. Green grass stretched beneath her, the lake rippled under the blue sky, and the sun reflected the snow on the mountain tops far away. Em opened the window and drew a deep breath. The morning air was fresh, and she had a sudden urge to take a walk.  
She slipped out of her pajamas and into her jeans and T-Shirt and put her hair up into a high ponytail, her curly hair falling gently. Then she tied her sneakers and tip-toed past the other beds, down the stairs, and through the quiet common room. Making sure that no teachers were patrolling the corridors (not like she was doing anything wrong, but she just didn't like meeting teachers that early in the morning), she slipped through the hallways and out the big, oak doors.  
  
The wind hit her face with such a strong force that she took a step backwards. The thought that it might get a bit cold with just a T-Shirt striked her, but she ignored it. She leapt down the steps, the double-doors swinging shut behind. She jumped around, her arms spread out wide, feeling the fresh atmosphere of the morning. Everyday should start like this! She thought. After some minutes of jumping around, she decided it might be a good idea to actually take a real walk. Or else she might get a bit too dizzy. She started walking towards the lake where the ripples had turned into small waves, as the wind speed was increasing. When she got closer to the lake, she noticed a figure sitting cross-legged under the oak tree next to the lake. A closer look told her it was a boy. She decided to join him.  
  
Remus had woken up extremely early, and as he had found nothing better to do, he had walked down to the lake for some peace. Not like there wasn't peace in his dormitory at 6 o'clock in the morning, but it wasn't the same. So now he was sitting under the big oak tree, studying the increasingly violent lake. He was growing cold as he was only wearing a T-Shirt and some corduroy trousers. The weather hadn't been all that chilly when he had been deciding what to wear. But he didn't feel like going back, so he just leaned against the tree and ignored the biting wind. That was until he heard the the oak doors slam. He turned his head to see who it was. Emilie. He smiled. She looked so beautiful, the wind tugging at her, making her curly hair fall out of her ponytail and fly in all directions. Even the baggy T-Shirt looked amazing on her. He watched her jump around for awhile, until she started walking towards the lake. His head snapped back into place. He wasn't sure if she had seen him. Calm down, he told himself. There was nothing to worry about! She is your friend, remember? So calm down! He put a smile on his face, turned around and waved at Emilie, who was coming closer.  
  
Emilie saw the boy wave. She was puzzled until she realized it was Remus. "Remus!" she shouted, running over to him. "What are doing out here so early? And in a T-Shirt! It must be freezing!" "Ask yourself all that," he said, smiling. Emilie looked at herself and laughed. "Whoops.yeah. Guess I shouldn't sound so shocked," she laughed. She sat down next to him, also leaning against the gnarled tree trunk and studied the lake. Silence fell and was only broken by the branches moving overhead. The sun slowly crawled it's way over the sky, and it wasn't until the sound of many voices could be heard from inside the castle that they stood up and dusted themselves off. "Thanks for joining me," Remus said. "You're welcome," Emilie said and bowed. They both laughed. "Well, we should probably go eat breakfast now," stated Remus. "Yeah. I'm starving." And so they went inside, both very happy and contempt.  
  
Lol! You were thinking there was gonna be some SMOOCHING, but you're all wrong! MUAHAHA! Ok, anyways, that was my psychotic side, so don't mind that. Hope you liked the chapter.personally I think it's a bit boring but hey. Anyways, to the thank you's (from hpfanficion): Aurora Tonks, Louise, CaptainCocaPuff, Christian (my beloved cousin!!! Thank u for reviewing (), Mundungus Fletcher (I miss you!!!!), hots4James, StephEvans, Boe, and U! THANX U GUYS! I really appreciate it!  
  
And the thank you's for my fanfiction.net reviewers: Damia-Queen of the Gypsi's, theantisocial, LiL'AnGeL1011, mystic fire demon, Jewels5, Irina and Raining Dreams (that name rox!!!) Thanx soooo much! For the reviews! I appreciate all of you! 


	9. Quidditch TryOuts for SoonToBeDiscovered...

AAARGH!!! Sorry I haven't updated for SO LONG! I guess I don't really have any excuse...I have just not been in the writing mood, and I apologize. I hope I won't disappoint you with this chapter. Hope you enjoy it. The regular thanks are at the bottom. Btw, if you feel you recognize some of the names, that might be because I stole them off Good Charlotte's members. It was Benji and Joel's birthday the day I wrote that part : ) Enjoy : )  
  
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Everyone at Hogwarts knew by now that James was finally awake, much to everyone's enjoyment, except of course for the Slytherins. Especially the members of the Slytherin Quidditch team. But to their luck, Madam Pomfrey announced that James was not well enough to play in the next match.  
  
Daniel Wood was not happy. In fact, he went quite ballistic when he found out.  
  
"BUT HE'S OUR BEST PLAYER!"  
  
"We'll just have to find someone to substitute him," said Elizabeth Moscel. The Gryffindor Quidditch team was sitting around the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"But no one can substitute James!"  
  
"We know, Daniel! But someone will have to!" sighed Jacob Carver. Daniel scowled.  
  
"Fine, then. But we'll need to find the best substitute."  
  
"Of course."  
  
Daniel started striding around the common room. Everyone's eyes followed him.  
  
"We'll have to have try-outs," he said, striding along, hands behind his back.  
  
"Try-outs?!" Trinity Spott said in disbelief.  
  
"Yes, try-outs! That's the only way we're going to find the best!"  
  
"But Daniel, honestly...we're only looking for a substitute. No one's ever held try-outs to find a substitute," Christian Gromek said.  
  
"Well, then we'll be the first."  
  
James definitely wasn't happy that the team would be playing without him, either. He kept ranting on and on about it to Lily, who just turned her back and pretended not to hear.  
  
"They don't stand a chance without me!" exclaimed James. "I mean, really! Elizabeth and Trinity are used to my tactics! They're going to have to adjust everything just to fit this one substitute in!"  
  
"Would you rather have them play with only two chasers or WHAT?" Lily retorted, annoyed that James kept disrupting her dozing. There was a silence.  
  
"See? Isn't' better with a substitute than only two chasers?" Lily asked reasonably, turning around to face James. He looked puzzled.  
  
"Uhm...I guess..."  
  
"See, I am always right," said Lily arrogantly.  
  
"No, you're not!"  
  
"And how would you know?"  
  
"Well, I know you're not right! The reason you're here! That's not right!" James burst out. He had been told by Remus why Lily was occupying the hospital wing. Again, there was a silence. Longer this time.  
  
"What do you mean, it's not right?" Lily whispered. James' confidence seemed to leak out of his body faster than it had come.  
  
"I don't' know...I just mean that...it's not good. What you're doing to yourself, I mean," he whispered back, looking at hands.  
  
"I'm not doing anything to myself, thank you very much!" Lily sneered and turned her back once more.  
  
Score, James! James thought as he watched Lily's long, red hair sweep over her pillow. Great job.  
  
Emilie wasn't too happy to hear about James inability to play in the next match, but deep inside she found that the situation had given her a bit of hope. She had always been good at riding a broomstick. She had found in the first year at Hogwarts, back when they still had had Flying as a subject. The teacher had said she had had a real talent. It had been long since she had ridden a broom. But if she could just borrow James's...  
  
"James?" James rolled over on his back groggily.  
  
"Yeah?" he said, his eyes still shut.  
  
"Can I borrow your broom?"  
  
James's eyes were shut no more.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Sorry," Emilie said, "but it's not like you're going to be using it for awhile, and I'd really like to try out for substitute! But I don't have my own broom..." she trailed off.  
  
"Just hang on," James said, sitting up in his bed and trying to figure it all out. "So you wanna borrow my broom, to try out for a substitute that's substituting for me."  
  
"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," Em said, smiling. James looked uncertain.  
  
"Look, I'll watch out for it and everything!" Em exclaimed very impatiently.  
  
"Yeah, but...can you even fly? I mean, you're Muggleborn, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I can fly. I haven't tried for the past 2 years or something, but if could just practice a few days before the try-outs with your broom, I think I could stand a chance!"  
  
"Oh, all right," James sighed, "But on one condition!"  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Tell Lily that she doesn't need to be so bitchy all the time. I'm actually quite nice." Em laughed.  
  
"Ok, James! I'll do that for you. By the way, where do you keep your broom?"  
  
"Up in my dormitory, under my bed. It's the one to the right of the window."  
  
"Thanks so much!" Em said and clapped her hands, leaning down to kiss James on the cheek. Then she bounded out of the hospital wings, still clapping her hands. James started to worry he had borrowed his most priced possession out to someone who was not mentally well.  
  
The whole week, Em practiced flying after school hours. She didn't have authorization to borrow a Quaffle, so she had to be satisfied with just flying.. She was glad she had started with that. When she first got on the broom and took off, she could quite distinctly feel that it had been a long time since she had tried anything of the sort. But after the second night, her talent started to show through, and she was pelting through the goal hoops and flying so low that the grass tickled her feet. Finally, the day of the try-outs came. Em was really nervous.  
  
"Ok, line up everybody!" Daniel Woods ordered at 5 o'clock that evening on the Quidditch pitch, making all the hopeful soon-to-be-discovered talents (or so most of them hoped) line up alphabetically.  
  
Em looked around. There was Benjamin Levi, she would be before him. And there was Joel Reuben; she would also be in front of him. She finally settled herself as the 4th in line, between Benjamin Levi and another girl named Linzi Harrison.  
  
At least, Em though, she knew Elizabeth Moscel slightly. It was always nice to have an acquaintance around when one was nervous. She cast a nervous glance at Elizabeth, who smiled and winked back. Emilie felt the tension in her stomach unclench a bit. "And you must be...Emilie Jensen?" Daniel Wood was walking along the line with a clipboard, checking people off.  
  
"Uhm, yes, that's me," Emilie said nervously. Daniel Wood smiled shortly, checked off her name, and went along to Benjamin. When he was done, he put the clipboard on the ground and marched forward so that he was facing the lineup.  
  
"Ok now," he said, crossing his arm and looking skeptical, "this try-out, as you probably know, is to find the substitute for the injured Chaser, James Potter. As you all must know, James is fantastic with a broomstick, and I'm sure none of you will be able to live up to his performance" –nervous looks were cast around by the newly arrived, while the original Gryffindor Quidditch team just rolled their eyes and smiled apologetically at the lineup-"but you will have to try your best. We're looking for the best, and we're going to get the best. If you feel uncertain that you will not be able to make it to every single practice, you can leave. Now." No one moved.  
  
"Alright, then! Let's start! William Dean, you're first!"  
  
A scrawny, black-haired boy in the 4th year stepped forward, broom in hand. He looked nervous and awkward, but Daniel Wood paid no attention.  
  
"You're going to be flying together with Elizabeth and Trinity here," –he pointed to the two girls- "and you're going to try to get that Quaffle through the hoops as many times as you can in 5 minutes. As I am to examine your abilities, I will not be up guarding the hoops like usual, but down here to watch you. Christian will replace me for this purpose." Daniel pointed at Christian. William Dean nodded.  
  
"Ok then, go!"  
  
William Dean was off together with the other three. He was quite alright. He flew well and could easily catch the ball. Em wondered if she stood a chance against him, and decided that she did. Maybe a bit untruthful, but comforting just the same. When Daniel blew the whistle, William had scored 3 goals. That was good, compared to who the goalkeeper was.  
  
"Ok, next." Quite a big girl stepped forward with a menacing expression on her face. She did the same as William, except that she was more aggressive and only got 1 goal in, because she kept throwing hard and not aiming. One more came up, but Em didn't notice how he did. She was too nervous. Finally, it was her turn.  
  
"Emilie Jensen."  
  
Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?! Em thought as she stepped forward, heart pounding. But then she caught a glimpse of Elizabeth, who gave her the thumbs up, and she realized it wasn't going to be that bad.  
  
"Go!"  
  
Em kicked off with the rest. Trinity was starting with the Quaffle, but she immediately passed it to Em. Em, who was still trying to push her nervousness aside, wasn't ready for it, but she caught it with the tips of her fingers. She passed it back to Trinity, and flew up ahead to the hoops. Trinity passed it to Elizabeth, who then passed it to Em. But Christian was in the way, so Em pelted it to Elizabeth, and flew behind the hoops, soaring just above one of them. Christian was keeping his eyes on her and Elizabeth at the same time. Elizabeth passed it to Trinity, who was way to the right, and Christian swerved to meet her. But Trinity threw it to Em, still hovering above the hoops. Em grabbed it and threw herself forwards. She looked down, and pelted the Quaffle underhanded into the left hoop. Shouts of approval were heard from the rest of the team below, and Elizabeth and Trinity clapped their hands. Em wiped her forehead with her sleeve. Well, this wasn't too bad. It continued like that, until Daniel blew the whistle. Em soared down, feeling immensely satisfied with herself. She had scored 7 goals! The chemistry between her, Elizabeth, and Trinity was excellent, which improved the communication between them. They could basically read each others next move. Nearly.  
  
Em returned happily to the Gryffindor dormitory. She would get to know the results tomorrow. But now, a good nights sleep would do well.  
  
**************************************************************** THANKS TO (HPff.com): Dung (I miss you, miss you, miss you!!! But you know what??? Im coming to visit next next weekend!!! YAY!!!),  
  
Ginny P (Sry it took so LONG for me to continue writing :*( )  
  
HP's #1 fan: Im glad you liked, and Im so sorry I didnt update soon!  
  
Tam: Yes...again, my update intervals are far from frequent and I apologize over and over again : ) But I hope you enjoyed this chappie : )  
  
Boe: Lol, no, I will NOT stop writing this story until I finished it! Well, the thought had been cursing through my mind, because my life was/is so screwed up, so I didnt think I would want to write more...but suddenly my muses got the better of me : )  
  
Christian: I'll be seing you soon! I hope : ) For Easter, I guess.  
  
THANKS TO (ff.net): I forgot who I thanked last time so I will just thank ya'll once more : )  
  
ZzSheilahzZ TweEdLeDumMm (interesting name) Demeter'sAdvocate Damia- Queen of the Gypsi's theantisocial1 Lil'AnGel1011 mystic fire demon Jewels5 Raining Dreams 


	10. The Row

The 10th chapter is up! No excuses for its abysmal delay! So shoot me! But please, read first. Btw, I've tried to make this chapter longer. It fills 5 pages and contains 2515 words. So if you start telling me it was too short, bugger off! Btw, if you're reading this on , the paragraphs are very fucked it...when I press Enter on Word, it doesn't show on , so I had to have a line between dialogue and stuff....  
  
Lily woke up, not knowing if it was a weekday or a weekend, with the sudden urge to write something. She didn't know why or what she wanted to write, but her mind was so full of thoughts and ideas that she just wanted to get them jotted down. Like she was afraid they were going to be forever lost if she didn't. She reached out for her homework on her nightstand, sliding a few books away from a piece of parchment. She searched quickly for a quill and some ink, found some, and then blankly stared at the just as blank parchment. She didn't know what to write at all now. The thoughts were indistinctly racing around in her head, but she couldn't grab and hold just one of them; they were all going too fast. So she decided on a doodle. Everyone could draw a doodle.  
  
Examining her work of art, she neatly labeled the doodle "art". Then she drew another doodle. She labeled that "anti-art". A new idea formed in her mind, and she began to write.  
"This world is divided into the good and the bad  
The happy and the sad  
What you'll never have  
There's culture and opinions and authority  
And the anti-culture, which much be a minority"  
  
She reread her work. It was short and hard to understand the meaning of, and she hated it. But hey, it was her first work (the two previously drawn doodles huffed at this, feeling greatly ignored), and Shakespeare had probably hated his first works, too. Maybe even all of his works. Lily decided to read some Shakespeare since she was bored out of her wits in the damn hospital wing, anyway. Yes, she would develop her creative abilities now that she had the chance. But before she could get started on any major project, exhaustion got the better of her, and she fell onto her pillow, already asleep.  
  
"Hey! Lily!" Lily woke up, confused. Who...? She looked around. Bed...wall...wall...bed...James!  
  
"Yeah?" she asked haughtily.  
  
"Is this yours?" And to Lily's horror, he waved her piece of parchment in the air.  
  
"That's mine, give it back!" she yelled, trying to snatch it fro him, but James just laughed.  
  
"This world is divided into the good and the bad," he exclaimed dramatically, flourishing the parchment unnecessarily, "the happy and the sad, what you'll never have. There's culture and opinions and authority, and anti-culture, which must be a minority. Very touching, Evans." Since when had James started calling her Evans? Oh well, who cared, she just needed her piece of parchment back before she died of embarrassment.  
  
"Just give it back, ok?" She said. She was still exhausted. James looked at her, surprised. He had never heard her so weak and surrendering before. He got up and handed her the parchment guiltily, not commenting on Lily's strange behavior. He hadn't known she might have been hurt by him making fun of her poem. But it was just a joke, didn't she get that? He was just teasing her, no harm in it at all!  
  
But catching James by surprise (again), Lily said: "What day is it?" She sounded and looked completely civilized. James went back to his bed before answering.  
  
"I don't know," he answered truthfully.  
  
"Have you ever read Shakespeare?" she asked him, leaning her head in her hand and looking at him earnestly. James was utterly perplexed. What had happened to the Lily that he had known, previously so bitter and uninterested? Oh well, he decided, this might be one of her rare good days. So he chose to answer her question honestly.  
  
"No, I can't say I have."  
  
"Hmm," Lily sighed and rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. "I want to read some of his stuff. I've never gotten around to reading much, only things for school."  
  
"Yeah?" James said. "I recommend you start with something less advanced and incomprehensible than Shakespeare, though. Maybe Muggle writers like, I don't know, John Irving."  
  
Lily looked puzzled at him. "How do you...?"  
  
"I read, you know!" James replied, playing offended.  
  
"Oh," said Lily, looking genuinely surprised.  
  
"Yeah, I like John Irving. But if you haven't previously read a lot just for fun, then maybe you should start with something smaller. Maybe Eoin ?"  
  
"Eoin Colfer. He writes these really cool books about a Muggle kid named Artemis Fowl who's an absolute genius. They're really interesting."  
  
"Oh, ok, I'll try that out to start with," Lily said, still feeling a bit perplexed regarding James and his unknown wisdom about books. "But how do you know about muggle books?"  
  
"Oh, my mom reads them all the time. Says the ones we write are all so boring." James shrugged. "I think she's right."  
  
Lily nodded; then felt a headache coming on, so put her head down and closed her eyes. She was gone. Damn, James thought. She's pretty weak. It's not normal to be asleep just like that! Wish I could help her...And with that kind thought, James turned around and tried to get some sleep, too.  
  
At lunch time, Em visited Lily. She was sulking. "What's wrong?" Lily asked, forgetting the sorry bowl of soup in her lap.  
  
"I didn't make the team," Em said. "I put your broom back," she said to James. He nodded, looking at her with pity.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well, it went great and everything. At least I thought. I was better than all of the ones before me! But I left before everyone was done trying out. Apparently this girl in 5th year, Stephanie Davidson, was better. She scored something like 10 goals."  
  
"Oh," Lily said, "but it's alright, Em. I mean, she's only a substitute for James! He's going to be back on the pitch soon, I expect!" She looked at James imploringly.  
  
"Yeah!" said James, catching on. "I mean, Madam Pomfrey says I'll be able to leave this place next Monday! So this Elizabeth person will only get to play the match against Huffelpuff."  
  
"Yeah," said Em, smiling through a few tears, "I guess so. I guess it's alright." She looked down at Lily, and for some reason burst out into more noisy tears.  
  
"I miss you so much, Lily! You don't understand at all! I'm totally alone in every lesson and in the common room! It's horrible! Come back, please!" She flung her arms around the very shocked Lily, who patted her back awkwardly.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be back soon," she said. But she was crossing her fingers.  
  
Because no one knew what Lily was thinking. They just knew what they saw, and what they saw was a lie. She was eating her meals, yes, but she visited the bathroom every night. She hated the feeling of the vomit, but she wasn't going to get fat. She was in control of her body. No one was going to change her body because they thought it was for the best. Only she knew what was best for her, didn't they get it? So that night she crept to the bathroom, faithful to her vows, thoughts of Em's apparent distress at her absence from everyday life still drifting in her mind. She felt sorry for Em, she really did, especially since that Stephanie chick had beat her in Quidditch, but Em was just going to have to live with it, wasn't she? She, Lily, certainly wasn't going to change anything just to suit someone else's mood!  
  
She had reached the toilet. She bent over quietly, sticking her finger in her throat. She winced and vomited. It all splashed into the toilet with a sickening splatter.  
  
Suddenly, James was standing in the door of the cubicle. She had forgotten the Silencing Charm, her mind being so preoccupied with Em!  
  
Lily gasped in shock, and caught some of the vomit in her throat, choking on it. James was staring at her. She had never seen him like this before. So...intimidating.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" he asked her quietly, and even though his face was hidden in the shadows, his voice and posture illustrated something that gave her the impression of disappointment.  
  
Lily didn't answer. Her eyes were full of tears from choking, and she was crouched on the floor, not daring to look up into James' hidden face. She felt so ashamed, though she was silently trying to convince herself that she had done nothing wrong. That James had been wrong, intruding on her like that.  
  
"Get out," she snarled. "This is none of your business."  
  
"It might not be," James retorted, seizing her arm, "but it's my damn business to stop it!" He pulled her off the floor furiously, making her whimper in pain. His hands were digging into her arm, nearly snapping the bones. He heaved her out of the room and placed her in front of him, his hands clamped tightly on her upper arms.  
  
"Don't you care?" he whispered, but to Lily, it was like he had shouted in her ear.  
  
"Care about what?" she snapped, still looking down at her bare feet. She wiped some of the vomit off her lips. The taste was still in her mouth. She felt as though she was going to be sick again.  
  
"Care, Evans! CARE!" he shouted. He shook her forcefully, and her head dangled. "Care about your friends, care about your family! The people around you! They suffer, Lily! You don't see it, but they do! But you can't see beyond your own fucking nose!" He let her go in disgust. Now Lily was standing there without support. Without anyone. Totally alone. James turned around and stomped towards his bed.  
  
"I CAN see beyond my own fucking nose!" Lily shouted after him, regaining her strength of mind.  
  
"Oh yeah?" he said, swerving around and facing her. "Well, then your eye vision needs some serious testing, because it doesn't seem to be functioning very well!"  
  
"Just because I have control of something that you don't, doesn't mean you can come all up in my business like that!"  
  
"What the FUCK do you have control of, Evans? You couldn't control your own fingers if you had to! And look, now we're on to the subject of you again, aren't we Evans? It's just you, you, you! You can't fucking think about anything else!"  
  
"I can too think about-"  
  
"Oh yeah, then what about Em?" James sneered, his voice a whisper again. "Or didn't you notice her when she was crying all over you? Maybe you were just thinking about how your pillow was getting wet. I can't believe you Evans, you disgust me!"  
  
"I do care about Em!" Lily shouted. "It's not my fault she misses me, is it? She's not going to control what I do and what I don't!"  
  
"See, there we have it again Evans! You, you, you!"  
  
"Stop calling me Evans!"  
  
"I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER I FUCKING LIKE!" James was shaking with indignation. "Ever since I started talking to you, you've been a righteous bitch! And don't look all shocked at me like that, it's the truth! I can't stand you! Em must be really loyal to stay by your side, and look what you're doing to her! You're deceiving her! She thinks you're getting better, and then you're just going off at night and..." words failed him.  
  
"Like I said," Lily whispered venomously, her hands clenched and her eyes narrowed, "she's not going to control my li-"  
  
"STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF!!! THINK ABOUT EM!! BUT MAYBE YOU'RE JUST SO SELF-CENTERED, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!"  
  
"I DO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, IT'S YOU-"  
  
"OH, SO YOU'RE GOING TO BLAME THIS ON ME, ARE YOU?"  
  
"I'M NOT BLAMING-"  
  
"EXCUSE ME!" Madam Pomfrey was striding into the room, a look of alarm on her face. "What do you think you are doing?" she asked them. "You'll wake up everyone in the castle! Go to bed!"  
  
"But Madam Pomfrey, she-"  
  
"I don't care, Potter. You will not be up at night, especially not when making such a ruckus! Now go to bed! You too, Lily!" She watched them climb grudgingly into bed, and then swept away towards her chambers.  
  
"See, now you've gotten us into trouble!" Lily hissed.  
  
"Oh, I've gotten us in trouble, if you hadn't-"  
  
"Be quiet, both of you!" Madam Pomfrey had come back. "Ok, Potter, go to that bed over there!" She pointed at the bed farthest away from his current one. "Lily, you stay there." And with that, she left.  
  
Lily turned over on her side, her mind boiling with rage at all the things James had dare say to her. She couldn't believe that only 10 hours ago, she had been talking in a civilized tone with him, even admired him a bit for his knowledge on books. He's wrong about me, she thought. He is so wrong.  
  
Far from stopping Lily hurting herself, James' certainty that Lily only thought about herself only made her condition worse. She was refusing to eat again, but was still being sick on purpose. And not just at night. After meal times too, even though she hadn't eaten anything. James knew what was going on, but he didn't say anything to her. He knew she knew what he thought of it.  
  
Em was a walking wreck. Her best friend was getting thinner and thinner before her eyes, but nothing she said could made a difference. Her grades had started slipping because of her worry for Lily, but none of the teachers seemed to be making that connection. They just gave her extra amounts of homework in hope that it would improve her academic situation.  
  
At least Em had Remus. She was so grateful for him. She wouldn't know what to do without him. He was always supporting her, helping her with homework. He listened to her when she spilled out everything she had been feeling. Worry that Lily was never going to be ok, worry that she wasn't going to pass the end-of-year exams. Remus thought she seemed full of worry. She had even cried in front of him once, which she had assured him was not something she did very often. Cry in front of other people than herself, that is. He tried to comfort her, and at least succeeded a bit at that. He was angry at Lily for doing this to Em. She was supposed to be enjoying her young years instead of agonizing over her best friend.  
  
Remus had long ago given up any hope of getting his young years back. His body might still be in its youth, but his mind made him feel like a 60-year- old. Only real pain can make you feel like that. And real pain was what Remus kept going through each month. At least it was only physical pain now. James, Sirius, and Peter had long ago figured out what was wrong with him. At least he didn't have to lie anymore. Just to Em. And he wasn't sure he could take lying to Em much longer.  
  
THANKS ): missminty, DracosChick, bbbbbb, Siriusblack12, princessavg (counts reviewswow...I have a fan! wink), a.potter (glad you find this story helpful! Thanks a ton for the praise!) Christian (hope you had fun in Croatia!), littleaquarianprincess, Tam (glad you love my story, I feel very honored) Pink Fluffly Bunny (I tried in this chapter!)  
  
THANKS ): Lesdarian: wow...you check everyday! Impressive...fixed the grammar, btw : ) Lorelei6: tried to make this chappie longer! Damia-Queen of the Gypsi's: wow...you're review touched me very much! I'm glad you think my story tells people something important. sproxkkk: you're review made me sooo happy! Demeter, Goddess of Protection: I'm glad : ) 


	11. Something Unexpected

Even though Lily and James had never exactly been friendly towards one another, there now lay a huffy silence in the Hospital Wing that not even Madam Pomfrey could cure. The sick, hurt or jinxed students coming up to the Wing to be treated left quickly again, not wanting to have the suffocating blanket of James and Lily's hostility over themmore than necessary. Remus, Sirius, Peter and Lily came to visit frequently, but could never manage to get the two talking, and the visits usually ended up awkward, so they did not stay for long. Only when Lily came up without the rest, or when James gang visited while Lily was other places, did the conversations flow easily. Though either James or Lily were left to him- or herself, depending on the visitor.

Lily was still barfing and not eating. Her temper with James was not subsiding, and she wanted to do nothing he had told her to. Em was stupid as usual, not understanding at all. Lily had forgotten about wanting to make a better, less disgusting, thin version of herself. Now she just wanted to defy James. Madam Pomfrey was sick with worry. No student had ever tried to fight their treatment as vigorously as Lily did, and the Matron did simply not know what to do about it. One day, after Lily had knocked the bowl of soup she was presenting her with out of her hands for the 13th time, she went to Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore," she said, after entering the door and taking a seat in front of his desk, like her had asked her to, "I'm worried about Lily."

Dumbledore nodded gravely, elbows on his desk and his fingertips touching.

"Yes," he replied, looking as though he was quite lost in another world, "Yes…I have noticed. She is not well. Not at all…What do you suggest?" He fixed a concerned stare on Madam Pomfrey.

"I think she should go to St. Mungo's!" she said immediately. She had been giving this a great deal of thought and could think of no other solution. "She does not eat, even if I use magic, and I really do not want to resort to the Imperius Curse! They have experts at St. Mungo's. I mean," she added hastily, "I am quite sure I could cure the physical problems she has…but the mental ones…this is, after all, a mental disease, Dumbledore."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes," he said, "yes indeed."

"And," Madam Pomfrey went on hastily, glad that the Headmaster was agreeing with her, "I am sure that they at St. Mungo's have experts on these sorts of things!"

"Have you ever considered putting her in a regular hospital?" Dumbledore asked quietly. Madam Pomfrey looked astounded.

"A…a regular hospital, sir? But surely you do not mean a…a…_Muggle _hospital?"

"No, I suppose I mean more of a Muggle…what do they call it…psychiatrist. They do not use magic to delve into the brain and solve problems there, but it seems it works. Becoming quite a fashion, having a personal psychiatrist," he added as an afterthought.

"Yes," said Madam Pomfrey, clearly uneasy, "but I feel it more…safe for Lily to be in St. Mungo's, with people who know…what she is. I'm not sure she would cope in a Muggle hospital, I hear they are quite dreadful, and if she isn't allowed to use magic…" she trailed off.

"Very well, if that is what you want, Poppy,I shall see to it immediately."

Madam Pomfrey looked relieved.

"Thank you so much, Headmaster." Then she left.

Another beautiful sunny day was streaming through the windows of the Hospital Wing. Lily was not fooled. Mother Earth might be beautiful, but nothing else was. Madam Pomfrey was approaching her, and Lily turned her back.

"Lily, you're going to be moved to St. Mungo's," Madam Pomfrey's voice claimed

"What!'

"You're being moved to St. Mungo's. I cannot help you more than I have already done." There was a defeat in Madam Pomfrey's voice. She had never failed as a nurse before.

"But I don't want to go to St. Mungo's!" Lily cried in outrage

"What you want, little Missy," said Madam Pomfrey, suddenly flaring up, "does not matter anymore!" She turned her back on Lily and went to tend to her other patients. Lily lay in shock. St. Mungo's? But there was nothing _wrong _with her! And even if there was, she thought bitterly, it was definitely not serious enough for St. Mungo's. She lay fuming when she felt a pair of eyes on her.

"What?" she said aggressively, turning towards James' bad, which was once again, beside hers. Somehow, Madam Pomfrey thought this would perhaps straighten out their rocky relationship. As long as they quit their shouting matches, she was happy.

"Nothing," James replied as expected.

"I suppose you just want me out of here as quickly as possible." Lily said, sneering at the ceiling.

"To be honest Evans, it doesn't really matter to me, as I am being signed out of this place tomorrow anyway," he said loftily. Lily stared.

"You are?"

"Of course I am! Madam Pomfrey finally thinks I've rested enough." And with that, he turned over, leaving Lily to ponder for herself.

The next day Madam Pomfrey insisted on accompanying Lily to St. Mungo's before she let James go. A little more rest could hurt nobody. Lily and the Matron were to use the Floo network to St. Mungo's where Lily had not idea of what would happen to her. Emilie had come down with some of Lily's clothes which she would need for the short journey.

"You know I'll miss you, right?" asked Em quietly as she helped Lily into her favorite shirt (Em had thought it would cheer her up a bit) behind the curtains Madam Pomfrey had stationed around her bed. Lily was now so weak that she could not dress on her own properly.

"Hmm…" she replied, not caring much. She wasn't about to admit it, but she was scared if what would happen to her at St. Mungo's. What would they do that Madam Pomfrey had not already done?

Emilie was just as worried. As she helped Lily tighten her belt (it was still insufficient at holding up her pants though it could not be tightened anymore) she wondered how life at Hogwarts would be without Lilly. Though she hadn't exactly been present these last weeks, it would be a weird feeling to know that she was not in the castle anymore.

Finally, Lily was dressed. Emilie looked at the sad sight in front of her. Lily's shirt was hanging from her limp shoulders; her jeans were folding, the belt being smaller than the waist of the pants. Madam Pomfrey drew the curtains aside and put the few things Lily was taking with her on the bed.

"How long will I be gone?" asked Lily, eying the bag.

"That depends solely on you," said Madam Pomfrey. "You could be there for a week, a month, 6 months. It all depends on you cooperation." She gave Lily a stern look. "Now, I've packed some Potions St. Mungo's might not have. I want you to take them every day, do you understand?" Lily nodded.

"Right then, let's go."

"I'll miss you so much Lily," whispered Em, giving her a final hug she hoped would show how much she cared about her. "I'll come visit, I promise." She stepped back to allow Madam Pomfrey to steer Lily by the elbow to the fireplace.

"Bye Evans."

Lily turned around. James had held his hand up in what seemed a sincere good-bye wave. Lily nodded, but made a face. You never knew. James might just be mocking her. She took the Floo Powder Madam Pomfrey was handing her, stepped into the fireplace, threw the Powder to the ground and yelled "St. Mungo's!" As she caught her last glimpse of the Hospital Wing, she wondered when she would be back.

James watched her go. However much her resented her, he couldn't help hoping that St. Mungo's might be able to do something Madam Pomfrey could not. Somehow.


End file.
